


Escape from Jakku

by QianLan



Series: Same Universe, Different Day [14]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Bickering, Cheesy Romance Novels, Established Relationship, M/M, Secret Identity, role play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-11-22 14:10:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11381808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QianLan/pseuds/QianLan
Summary: The one time Poe and Finn didn’t reenact a romance novel because they discover the one written about them.





	Escape from Jakku

**Author's Note:**

> This fic originally appeared as a chapter in my multi-chapter fic [Bad Romance.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7848733?view_full_work=true)
> 
> For the sake of the timeline of the Same Universe, Different Day series, I've made it into a stand-alone fic.

 

“Wait, what is this?” Finn said, scrolling through the new titles in Poe’s ever-expanding romance collection.

 

Poe saw the novel and his eyes went wide.  He immediately tried to play it off.  “Hmmmm?”

 

Finn’s eyes narrowed.  “Don’t _hmmmmm_ me, Dameron.  You know full well what I’m talking about.  What is this?”  Finn held the datapad out to Poe, who blushed.  He shrugged.  “New romance novel.  Sounded interesting.”

 

“Sounded interesting?   Really?  Let’s take a look, shall we?”  Finn began scrolling through the title.

 

“You know, Jess said that the pilots were going to watch a holo tonight.  We should probably leave now if we want the couch to ourselves.”  Poe stood up.

 

“No way, Dameron.”  Finn settled himself in and pointed to the spot next to him on the bed.  “Let’s read the summary, shall we?”

 

“Let’s not,” Poe said quietly, sitting.

 

Finn read: “A dashing Resistance pilot is captured, tortured, and facing certain death at the hands of the First Order, but then his luck changes when a strapping young Stormtrooper comes to his rescue.  The attraction is instant, but can they trust each other?  Will they be able to _Escape from Jakku_?”  Finn looked up.  “Sound familiar?”

 

“Maybe?”

 

“Maybe,” Finn said, trying to keep his voice even.  “Maybe?  Really?”  Finn flicked through a few pages. 

 

He began reading: “ _Rex strained against the binders on his wrists, his face bloodied from the beating, but he refused to answer the interrogator’s questions.  ‘If you don’t tell us where the map is, we’ll send the Sith lord in to deal with you!’  Rex’s look was defiant.  ‘Do your worst.’  Stormtrooper MX-1189 couldn’t help but be a little impressed at the pilot’s bravado, and a troubling thought took hold—if he could get Rex to a TIE fighter, the two of them could escape and then MX-1189 could explore Rex’s smart mouth to his heart’s content.”_

 

Finn let the datapad drop to his lap as he turned to Poe with his eyebrow raised.  “Shall I continue?”

 

Poe let out a long breath.  “Fine, Finn.  You want to hear me say it?  It’s us.  Okay?  It’s us.  Someone wrote a kriffing romance novel about us.”

 

“Thank you!”  Finn said, validated.  “Now the more important question.  Why in the name of the force did you buy it?”

 

“Really?  That’s what has you upset?  Not that someone wrote this, but that I bought it?”

 

“Oh, Dameron, I’m upset on so many levels right now.  We’re just starting with the easiest,” Finn said.  “So I ask again, why in the name of the force would you buy this?”

 

Poe’s voice was small.  “I was curious.  Aren’t you?”

 

“No.  I was there.  And judging by the cover, the pilot and ex-Stormtrooper are doing it in the TIE fighter.  That didn’t happen, Poe.”

 

“I know that didn’t happen, Finn.  I was there too.”

 

Finn sighed.  “Okay, I’m only going to ask you this once, Poe.  Did you write this?”

 

“What?!?  Kriff no, Finn!  First of all, when would I have the time?  Second, why in the galaxy would I want anyone to know about our sex life?”

 

“Well, technically this isn’t about our sex life.”  Finn flicked through the pages.   “Unless I missed the part where we snuck off right after Takodana and made so much noise the General caught us.”

 

Poe smiled at that.  _Would’ve been nice…_

Poe came out of his fantasy to see that Finn was giving him his _not-now-Dameron_ look.  “Finn, you have to believe me.  I love to read these things.  I occasionally talk my,” he couldn’t help his smile, “ _husband_ into reenacting them.  But I don’t write them.”  Finn lifted his eyebrow suspiciously.  “Finn, I swear.”

 

Finn huffed out a sigh.  “Then who wrote it?  Because I’ll be honest, Dameron, when I read this last night—”

 

“Wait, you’ve already read it?”

 

Finn blushed.  “Yeah, maybe.”

 

“Finn!”

 

“Fine.  Yes, I read it.  I read the whole thing last night while you were away.  Happy?”

 

“You hypocrite!  You’ve been yelling at me for buying it, and you’re just as bad.”  Poe fell back on the bed, clutching his chest.  “I am wounded, sir.”

 

Finn ignored Poe’s theatrics.  “You’ll get over it.”  He pulled Poe back up.  “Anyway, as I was saying, when I read it last night, I noticed that while the facts about our sex life are off, it’s also strangely accurate in other places.”

 

“Hmmmm?”

 

“Okay, so yeah, we didn’t have sex in the TIE fighter.”

 

“But that would be something, wouldn’t it?” Poe said, staring off dreamily.

 

“Focus Poe.”  Finn snapped in front of Poe’s face until Poe came back to reality.  “Like I said, we didn’t have sex in the TIE fighter, and you didn’t ravish me after Takodana.”

 

“Although I wanted to…”

 

“Yeah, I was there, Dameron.  The lip bite was hard to miss.”

 

Poe’s eyes went wide.  “You knew?  Kriff, Finn.”

 

“Seriously, Poe, have you seen your lip bite?  It isn’t subtle.”  Finn stared at his husband and for a moment got lost in those beautiful, bitable lips.  “But that’s not the point.  The point is, the other stuff.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like how you named me using the first two letters of my designation.  How you gave me the jacket.  Or how you hovered over me in the med bay after Starkiller.  Or that one holo night when I gave that speech to the pilots about Stormtroopers having sex…”  Finn’s voice trailed off.  “That speech I gave to the pilots.”  It dawned on him.  “Poe, which one of your kriffing pilots is writing this stuff?”

 

Poe was already up.  “I don’t know, but when I find out, they are going to be on sanitation duty for a year.”

 

**# # # #**

 

Everyone in the room was trying to pretend they took their Commander seriously.  It was hard, though, when what everyone really wanted to do was get their hands on a copy of _Escape from Jakku_ to see what all of the fuss was about.  There were several stifled giggles.

 

Poe stood in front of them doing his best _I’m-in-charge_ stance.  “Come on, fess up.  Who wrote this?”

 

Bastian asked, “Why do you think it was one of us?”

 

Finn stepped forward.  “Because it mentions things that only happened around you guys.”

 

Karé leaned back into her chair.  “But how do you know that you two are the basis of the story?”

 

“They had sex in the TIE fighter!  I told you they did,” Jess said loudly.

 

Another pilot chimed in, “How did that even happen?  Where would you…”

 

Poe put up his hands, “We did not have sex in the—”

 

Another pilot added, “Yeah, like aren’t those things back to back?  Did one of you climb over or something?”

 

Poe shot Finn a look.  _Help!_

 

Finn’s voice cut through the din.  “Listen, we did not have sex in the TIE fighter.”  Poe cleared his throat and Finn refocused.  “But that’s not why we’re here.  One of you wrote this, so just be straight with us.  Who is it?”

 

Iolo stood.  “I think the bigger question, Commander, is how did you find it?”

 

Jess smiled.  “Yeah, read a lot of romance novels, Poe?”

 

Poe stared her back down.  “How’d you know about the TIE fighter, Testor?”  Jess’s smile fell.

 

“No, don’t change the subject, Poe,” Iolo said.  “How did you know about the book?”

 

It was out of Poe’s mouth before he could help it.  “Finn found it.”

 

Finn shot him a _thanks-for-throwing-me-under-the-bus_ look.

 

“And I’m guessing it was Finn’s idea to reenact _The Pirate and the Prince_ in that decommissioned transport last year?” Snap asked.

 

Poe turned beet red.  Several of the pilots started making obscene sounds.

 

Finn smiled.  “Wait a second, Snap.  What do you know about _The Pirate and the Prince_?”

 

“Ummmmm…”  It was Snap’s turn to go red.  “I might have heard about it from someone…”

 

“Really?” Finn said.  “Well enough to know when someone was reenacting it?”

 

Snap shot back, “Well, you were wearing the robes, and the two of you were really loud.”

 

“The robes,” Karé asked.  “What robes?  There were robes?”

 

Poe’s face was in his hands, but Finn looked supremely satisfied.  “You’re Twem-mee Lynix!”

 

“Toombee Lynx?” Jess said.  “What the—”

 

Finn continued, “Twem-mee Lynix, the romance novelist.  Lynix wrote _The Pirate and the Prince_ and _Cantina of Love_ and _Escape from Jakku_.”

 

“And it’s an anagram of Temmin Wexley,” Karé added.  She winked at her boyfriend.

 

Snap shot her an evil look and then felt Poe’s eyes on him.  “Look, it’s just a side job to make a little extra money, and you have to admit that the way you and Finn met, it just…”  He trailed off. 

 

Poe rarely got angry with his pilots, but right now, he looked like he was going to explode.  “Snap.  Hall.  Now,” Poe said in a low voice.

 

As Snap rose, Iolo interjected, “Let me see if I’ve got this straight.  Snap is a romance novelist, and Poe, Finn, Jess, and who knows who else are all reading his books on the side.  Do I have that right?”

 

“Sounds about right to me,” Karé said.

 

“Anyone else have anything they want to confess while we’re here,” Iolo asked.  “Any secret holo porn stars or anyone dabbling in erotic ice sculptures?” 

There were a few snickers from the group.  Iolo made sure his eyes locked on Poe’s.  Poe got the message and relaxed.  He turned to Snap.  “Just keep me and Finn out of it from now on, okay?  It’s disconcerting to read about yourself in those things.  It’s creepy when it’s about people you know.”

 

“Like you’ve never read _The General and the Flyboy_ ,” Jess said.

 

“The what and the what?” Iolo asked. 

 

“It’s a novel about Skywalker and Solo,” Finn said.

 

“Seriously, Jess, you and your crush on Skywalker,” Bastian said.

 

“Skywalker?” came several voices in unison.

 

“Poe too,” Finn said under his breath.

 

Snap laughed and Poe said, “Still your commanding officer, Wexley.”

 

Iolo said, “Holo night?  That is what we came here for, yes?”  There was a rumble of agreement amongst the pilots.

 

“Really?  No one wants to hear about the Commander and Finn reenacting a romance novel in the hangar,” Karé asked.  "With robes?"

 

Bastian said, “No, Karé.  The less I know about their sex life, the better.”

 

“Then don’t read _Escape from Jakku_ ,” Jess said.

 

Poe grumbled, “We didn’t do it in the TIE fighter!”

 

 


End file.
